The Teeny Tots Savings Bank

I could get 5% interest in the Teeny Tots savings bankfor market trends and if I buy into a rising stock rather
down the road eh? I get 0.25% more if I leave it therethan a falling one I might just end up with a little bit
and don't use it for the whole year! If I open an ISAmore than the miserly and very insecure 5% that I
with the government indexed something or other Iwould get elsewhere.
might (or I might not) get a little bit more than whateverI don't want the Ferrari or gold plated bath taps! I don't
somebody said I would get if I did somethingsee myself opening up Offshore Bank Accounts and
completely different.managing to not pay British tax simply because I can
Sorry, but I'm not going to be able to retire on anythingafford a lawyer to 'sort things' out! I simply want to get
less than 20%.just a little bit more together for my retirement. I want
And so I headed off to the "other place", the one placeto get just a little bit more now!
that might just give me 20% if I play my cards rightSo I opened up this trading account with ease! Fill in this
and with a good bit of luck for good measure! It mightapplication form, sign here, read this very, very small
just give me more if I am careful but should I take risksprint here, balk at the seemingly high fixed cost of 14
or inadvertently play the wrong card I might just seePounds for every 'sell' or 'buy' and hey, bobs your
the initial sum playing a permanent vanishing trick. Oh,uncle! Once all these formalities are done it would be
don't take me wrong! Don't for one minute assumequite within any new traders rights to run around some
that I am going to start sniffing and snorting inairport shouting "sell, for god sake sell" or to scream
Ladbrokes over a horse or two or become an Internetdown the mobile phone on the number 41 bus, "buy
Poker addict. I have also not fallen victim to somequickly these shares are taking off, yes, a million, buy a
Spam email that landed in my inbox that read "send usmillion now, no belay that, make that two million".
your bank details and we will transfer the money toAnd so I opened a trading account and after learning
your account now". The one that was sent by mythe program that this particular system uses I was
best mate General George Washington Balonga stuckready. Well, not quite! I had planned on doing lots of
in a prison in the Congo!research, of going to the library and reading books on
For the record I have also decided (with some duethe subject and to possibly buying the daily newspaper
consideration) not to attempt a bank robbery or toto see what was happening in the business world but
start pick-pocketing at the local railway station. I havefor some reason I made my first grave mistake! I was
simply opened up an Internet trading account so that Isimply dragged into the excitement, the gamble and
may buy and sell stocks and shares whenever I feelhysteria and before I knew it I was begging others for
like it and whenever the opportunity arises.more money, I was hysterically checking and
I was in an airport lounge the other day. As per usual Ire-checking falling stocks and I was biting my nails so
was either going to or returning from somewhere, thefar down that my knuckles were bleeding!
place not being important and this large AmericanAs soon as I learned how the trading platform worked
decided to loudly enforce his opinions to his wife,I went and bought shares left right and center and
another couple near by and seemingly the wholespent all of the money that I had allotted myself. I then
lounge, the security officials and the check-in desk inwent and found some more money and spent that as
the departure hall outside. He said "it is impossible towell! As the Northern Rock Bank fell to pieces as a
make money from trading shares"!result of the credit crunch my brain told me that it
Well, blow me down right now with a feather!would be an excellent time to buy some shares in the
He shouted loud and clear "I tell you right now and withother banks and so now I am part owner of the
total certainty that anybody who starts trading sharesBradford and Bingley, the Alliance and Leicester and
on the Internet will never, ever, ever make a Goddarnsome other Mortgage biased banks and I have
cent". I couldn't hear what his wife or the other couplewatched what I have bought sink lower to come to a
were saying in response but he continued volubly, "I amstandstill at rock bottom prices.
telling you, it is totally impossible to make money onAlthough I have not seemingly lost that much in overall
buying and selling shares".value, my money now just sits there and I cannot get it
Thanks, I am hearing you loud a clear!out to work! There is definitely not much point having a
Maybe this was a message from God!trading account if one can't trade and looking at the
I am positive that trading shares on a regular basis is acurrent climate I don't think I will be shouting "sell" in the
gamble! I did after all lose nearly 2000 pounds (not avery near future. That five percent in the Teeny Tots
great amount by any means but it was all that I had)Bank down the road seems very attractive now - so
during the dot com bubble burst! I am also positive thatdoes a cash box under my mattress for that matter!
a false move, a sudden dash for a fast buck will end inWhat made my brain tell my finger to press the button
tears but then what have I got to lose? If I take just ato buy I will probably never know! But I am beginning to
little fraction of my savings, place it into a tradingthink that the loud American, the angel with his views,
account and if I do some hard research, if I gain a feelmight have been right after all!